Responsibility of adults towards children and adolescents
We should understand that children are like clay, they
will take the shape of the mold we mold them in. If the mold is good, they will
grow into good people, and if the mold is bad, they will grow into bad people.
And to build a good generation, this responsibility
falls on the entire society, both at home and outside.
If we want a healthy and prosperous generation, then
we must accept our responsibility towards our children and adolescents and must
be aware of this.
I can give a small example by experiencing a true
incident I heard from someone I know.
And this responsibility will be fulfilled only when we
can consider every child and adolescent in the society as our own child, our
own brother, our own sister. --This is mine, that is yours, mine is disciplined
and polite, yours is crazy, - such behavior is not right.
Until the age of 8-10, all boys and girls will do some
mischief. Then gradually they will take on their own form. Naughty or polite-
anyone can surprise everyone at any time with their knowledge and glory.
Again, even the most calm and polite child may have to
spend their whole life cutting grass for horses or depending on the wealth
acquired by their ancestors. No one can predict in advance who will show what
kind of surprise.
I can give a small example with a true story I heard
from someone I know.
In
response to my inquiry, the sister said --
"In my childhood, we were a group of friends,
whether in the neighborhood or at school. And all children are groups like
teenagers. Almost all of us were very restless and mischievous. And always some
plans were playing in our mind.
Everyone in the group was on the same as. Wherever
there were plum, mango, or other various flower and fruit trees in the
neighborhood, they were all at our fingertips. We would get up early in the
morning to collect shiuli flower, and go in group. We would weave garlands and
give gifts to each other. Sometimes, to surprise other friends, we would go to
someone else's garden alone in the morning to pick flowers.
But our blissful time of pure childish mischief was
short-lived. It fell under the influence of someone's suspicion or unnecessary
discipline. Maybe someone has complained at each of our homes. A
ban was issued from the house - and we were not allowed to go out at untimely
hours except for urgent reasons. And various types of flower and fruit
seedlings were brought to our houses, and our guardians were told us that when
the flowers bloomed on this tree, we would weave garlands, and
up to that time we have to wait patiently, and the days of going out to pick
flowers were over. We understood everything, but we didn't know whose hatred it
was. No one understood the state of mind, anger, and pride of a group of 8/10
year old children. We accepted that the days of free life were over, we had
grown up - and with that, our friendship group also became smaller!
Many days passed like this. But even then, there were
still things that were difficult to see, like being pressed against the wall -
I couldn't imagine.
The next incident happened when I was in the sixth or
seventh grade. - When I was in class four/five, whenever there was a public
meeting of leaders in the neighborhood, a few of us would be taken to sing patriotic
songs before the meeting started. Because then it was the pre-moment of the
freedom struggle. We were not a trained singing group. We learned naturally.
Such was the age - when we learned what we heard everywhere.
Then the whole year of 1971 was spent indoors. In
1972, school life started again. I thought I was the same as before. But no - I
stumbled again. Due to some problem with my younger sister starting school, I
had to go to another school for a year. When I didn't want to go, my father
said, if I didn't like it, he would bring me back after a year. I somehow
accepted.
The "Martyr's Day" of February 21st came. As
before, I started participating in everything according to my nature. Because I
felt that whatever was going to happen, whatever everyone around me was doing,
I had to be there. "I can't do this - I can't do that", such thoughts
never crossed my mind. I felt like ”I could do everything”.
A few days passed quite well. One day, suddenly, a
problem came. In the middle of our rehearsal, some students from the senior
class came as examiners. They came and dismissed me and some others from the
song, -. They said - our voices do not match!
Okay - I accepted, I thought - maybe my singing voice
really is not good.
From then on, whenever I participate in anything -
they come and say - you are not suitable, get dismissed. Even the same
situation happened in the morning PT of the school. I could not understand -
where is the problem!!
Gradually, my willpower and self-confidence started to
run out. I started to think, “It won’t be possible by me,” and in everything –
“I am here, I can do everything” – this thought started to run out. Fear grew
bigger than anger and pride. From then on, a fear entered my mind – what to do
– what will happen, who will think what, such thoughts!?
I couldn't tell anyone about my anger – pain, - not
even my parents or sisters, - because I knew that the answer would be -
"It's good, why do you go or why do you jump at everything, we told you
many times that these are not for us"
After a year, I went back to my previous school. But
my confidence never came back! After that, I never participated in anything
again.
But no one could kill my cultured mind or soul. I am
now a good bathroom singer. I sing to myself in a lonely room, I like it -
that's why”.
Saying this, the sister laughed and blew away all her
anger - pain!! She laughed, but I couldn't laugh and blow away. I still feel a
pain in my heart. I have been careful with my own children and the children
around me, and I have learned that - we have to read their minds.
Children and teenagers can make mistakes, we have to
correct them. It is definitely not desirable to make arrangements to keep life
pierced with needless doubts.
Science also says that the brains of restless children
work more and faster, that is why they are restless.
Therefore, if we want a healthy and talented
generation, then we have to accept this responsibility. It is difficult to say
when and what will leave a mark on the young mind. They can avoid even very big
things, and on the other hand, very small things can upset them.
To
lead a healthy life – we should think about it.