All of us have to overcome different problems at
different stages of life - both mental and physical. We adults are busy with
ourselves, we do not pay attention to children.
When my daughter turned 12, I realized about the
conflict of the adolescent mind. I remembered my own adolescence. And I wanted
to know if my daughter is also at the level of my adolescent mentality? I
remembered - about the mental pain during the problems that I could not
express. So I started treating my daughter like a friend to test it.
I saw - it really is. The only difference is that in
our case, I was very afraid of the elders of the family, I kept the conflict of
the mind in my mind and suffered unnecessarily. But children can easily express
their likes or dislikes or any problem if we give them the opportunity to
express it like a friend, in my opinion, this is good. After understanding
this, I became aware, and started searching to know how to deal with it.
Girls from 8 to 11 years old are usually more agile
and fearless than boys of the same age. However, as most girls reach the age of
12, their agility gradually decreases.
That is why we must always be aware of the elders and
everyone around us - for each other. Because, when a child is about five years
old, his circle of association is not limited to the family. His acquaintance
with many families around him increases. Therefore, everyone must be aware of
giving these children to lead a healthy life, - I think
this is our social responsibility.
Psychologists say - a child's mental and physical
changes occur as soon as he reaches adolescence. Pride is easily created in
various matters. The elders of the family sometimes say in ignorance -
"You have grown up, this work does not suit you", another time they
say - "You are still young, this is not your job", - these two kinds
of words create conflict in the teenager's mind, creating a crisis of
self-identity.
The mental turmoil begins with the physical changes of
adolescence, during which hormonal changes create a lot of emotionality. All
kinds of emotions are expressed intensely.
A report by a joint study by the World Health
Organization and the National Institute of Mental Health shows that currently
the prevalence of mental illness in Bangladesh among people over the age of 18
is 16.8 percent. And among children/adolescents under the age of 18, its
prevalence is 17.8 percent. That is, children/adolescents are comparatively
more affected by mental problems.
Each of us can understand a lot from our own
experience - by reviewing our own childhood and the childhood of our children.
The child wants to be independent, but when he slips
on the difficult path, he has to hold his hand. The chemistry of this
relationship is quite complex and strange.
It is during this time that parents have disagreements
with their teenage children on various issues - studies, choosing friends,
daily living, spending money, choosing goals in life.
Physical changes create tension in the teenager's
mind. Sometimes parents become like friends, and sometimes a huge distance is
created in this relationship.
Very small things create deep wounds in the teenager's
mind. In light of reality, we parent are often hesitant about our child's
friends of the opposite sex - out of fear of 'who knows what might happen'! Trust
does not come easily. We are afraid - what if the child makes the wrong person
a friend? What if that friend does not understand the value of trust in
friendship!
But the simple inexperienced teenage mind refuses to
accept this fear of reality! It was like this when we were teenagers too. Our
parents did not understand - we could not explain either. True friendship
exists, but in some cases there are problems. Some friends do not know how to
maintain the dignity of friendship. For some, friendship is a trivial matter! A
wasteful matter!
The ignorant teenage mind about the world's garbage is
unwilling to accept these things! That's when they become arrogant, angry. This
creates mental stress in them!
Again, when adults hide the natural physical problems
of this age, they withdraw inside themselves. Therefore, they need to be made
aware of the changes of adolescence, through behavior like a friend.
Psychological experts believe that the role of the
mother is paramount in today's single families. If there are many people in a
joint family, including grandmothers, children in such families can be called
lucky.
Psychologists say - adolescence means neither being a
child nor an adult. It is the beginning of growing up from being small. At this
time, the strictness that parents impose because they are afraid sometimes goes
against their interests, resulting in a rebellious attitude.
Many times it is seen that when a girl is no longer
allowed to mix with a boy she has been playing with since childhood, many
questions arise in the mind of the teenager. A difference is created between
the values of the guardian and the girl, which creates a lot of pressure on
the mind at that moment. She considers the guardian as an obstacle to her
independent identity and independent life. This creates turbulent problems.
Therefore, a place of trust must be created in the guardian for the teenager.
There is no alternative to this.
There is no life without mistakes - so if any
unpleasant incident happens to children, if they make any mistake, they should
be explained carefully. And the guardian should understand the positive and
negative aspects of the incident. They should not be made mentally weak and
confused by scolding or reacting sharply. Whether it is a boy or a girl, proper
guidance should be given in advance in choosing friends and going with friends.
It is not right to stop associating with friends
suddenly due to any problem. This will create disappointment in the young mind,
which is very harmful. Friendship is such an emotional matter, people cannot
easily accept the breakup of friendship even in adulthood, adolescence is an
even more delicate time.
In my opinion, to lead a healthy life, the style of
raising children should be changed. The child should be understood. The child
should find parents or elders in the family as friends in any of her/his problems -
not the unwanted harshness or duplicity of the elders.
